It was the most important decision I had to make all day. The only decision I had to make all day. But my options were limited. It was between a plain cone, a dipped cone, and a waffle cone sundae. There were also Dipping Dots—there will always be Dipping Dots—but we don’t talk about Dipping Dots. Okay fine. Dipping Dots are satisfying in the way snow falling on your tongue is satisfying: fun for a moment before it melts away and you go back inside. Not ice cream. Dipping Dots should be abolished. Sorry—“Dippin’ Dots”—I just googled it and learned that there is no g, because people who eat them don’t read, have never read, have forgotten how to read halfway through their first bite. The tiny, unsatisfying morsels will never compare to the full-body utensil-free experience of an ice cream cone. Hands and tongue. The roof of your mouth. The primal experience that can’t be freeze-dried and pixelated, separating each so-called flavor into its separate tiny atoms so each bite is exactly the same pile of synonymous pebbles.
Attack of the ice cream
Attack of the ice cream
Attack of the ice cream
It was the most important decision I had to make all day. The only decision I had to make all day. But my options were limited. It was between a plain cone, a dipped cone, and a waffle cone sundae. There were also Dipping Dots—there will always be Dipping Dots—but we don’t talk about Dipping Dots. Okay fine. Dipping Dots are satisfying in the way snow falling on your tongue is satisfying: fun for a moment before it melts away and you go back inside. Not ice cream. Dipping Dots should be abolished. Sorry—“Dippin’ Dots”—I just googled it and learned that there is no g, because people who eat them don’t read, have never read, have forgotten how to read halfway through their first bite. The tiny, unsatisfying morsels will never compare to the full-body utensil-free experience of an ice cream cone. Hands and tongue. The roof of your mouth. The primal experience that can’t be freeze-dried and pixelated, separating each so-called flavor into its separate tiny atoms so each bite is exactly the same pile of synonymous pebbles.